happy 3rd birthday, my sweetest baby girl

dear emily kate,

i'd say it's hard to believe that you are three years old now, but anyone who takes a look at you or hears you talk would know that you are easily three now. you are so smart and "grown up"; there is no denying that you are ready to not be "two and a half" anymore. i am already so proud of you; i can't imagine how i'll feel when you accomplish even bigger things as you grow up. here are some of your latest:

• you start your prayers with, "god love" and you always say, "thank you for my family." we have never told you how to pray or what to pray for, and i'm glad that you already know.
• you sing "glory hallelula to the new born king" and it makes me laugh everytime.
• when we tell you to do something you don't want to do, you will say, "but i don't love to...". e.g., "i don't love to draw on mail" or "i don't love to eat fruit."
• daddy asked you, "em, are you pooping?" you tilted your head, held out your pointer finger and shook it and said, "you know better than that!"
• you started saying "ouchie" instead of crying.
• you hate to eat protein, but if we can get you to try it, you always end up liking it. "uncle todd's ribs are really, really yummy," or "uummm, that's really good, mommy."
• your favorite real food to eat is soup. we can almost always get you to eat soup.
• instead of saying "always" you usually say "all the time." e.g., "all the time i like to do that."
• last week i asked you if you were hungry and you said, "why all the time you ask me that?" and you are right. i do ask you that a lot.
• you are great at responding to us. if you are in another room or playing with your cousins and your daddy or i call for you, you will always stop and say, "yes? yes, daddy?" sometimes we just want to know where you are so when you respond, we sort of don't do anything. then you will say, "what?!" haha.
• you have said "damnit" at least 10 times this month. sometimes you laugh after you say it. we pretend like we didn't hear it or tell you it's not a real word. but all the time you use it in the right context :o).
• you want to know how to spell everything. you will nod or say "uh huh" after i say each letter. it is so cute.
• we've started spelling a lot around you because you understand everything! you will even repeat the letters and say, "what is c-a-n-d-y?" sometimes you will join in and say, "mommy, where is my w-x-a-d-h-o?" you are too smart, little one.
• you love target and will throw yourself on the ground in a fit if we tell you no. as we were leaving, i noticed you blinking a lot and asked if you had something in your eyes. "no, those are just my tears." drama queen.
• we were about to leave one evening when you unbuttoned your jeans and reached behind you. "what are you doing?" "um, just getting my underwear out of my butt." well how subtle of you.
• you got your first haircut this month. i'll be honest, i am sort of sad about it because all your little curls are gone. when you tell people about your experience, you will say that "the little boy was crying and i didn't get to see my movie!" yes, it was his fault. i agree.
• auntie tina moved into a new place this month and you love visiting because she has no furniture. you randomly asked me, "why does auntie's apartment building have none food for her inside her refrigerator?" you have no idea what that is like because i stuff ours full (mostly with left overs).
• i forgot to mention this in your previous monthly posts, you will usually make a funny noise (almost like a grunt or a frustrated sound) when you get mad.
• if i ask you a question and you don't immediately answer, i will ask again. you've now started telling me, "i'm trying to think about it."
• when we tickle you too much, you know to say, "mercy" or "uncle."
• i've taught you to respond with "that's how i roll". it makes me laugh. auntie tina has gone even further with teaching you to tell people, "i'm kind of a big deal." while i wish you'd say it without command, i am pretty glad you don't.
• we watched the dvd of your christmas play with ong and ba. when you appeared, you said, "i look kind of pretty in my purple three wisemen dress." well okay then. i know you get this from your ba. she loves to tell us to take her picture and then ask, "do i look pretty?"
• you already know how to identify several states. i need to get you a map puzzle for home.
• your class now has a poster board with everyone's name on it. each day, your teachers give stars for participation. you were the only one in the class with 2 stars; everyone else had 1. i am so proud (and a little embarrassed, too!).
• the other day, you were playing upstairs with your cousin. you raced up to me and yelled, "aaron took my bow!" then ran back up to play. i followed you and watched from the stairs. as soon as you entered the room, you declared, "aaron! don't take my bow! it's for girls." you headed over to the easel, where he followed you. you looked at him and said, "i am NOT going to play with you until you say SORRY!" oh, emily. i don't even know what to say :).
• you like to say, "that's pretty cool."
• you wanted to bring your rapunzel barbie to your birthday party. i told you no because we might lose her. you said, "i will bring her and you will hold her when i play." uh, the answer is still no. "but that was a good ideaaaaaa!"
• you love hot chocolate and want to make some every day. everytime i put some marshmellows in it, you hold our your tiny hand and say, "i want some extras, pleeeeease!"
• you just learned about alice in wonderland, but you call her "alice in wonderwild."
• "you get what you get, and you don't get upset!" you told daddy this. haha. you often repeat things we read you in books. this is from pinkalicious, one of your favorites. you got to check it out from your KDO library. such a big girl!
• you ask me if i'm nervous a lot. like when you do something "dangous" (i.e., dangerous) or when you go on the jump jump at the mall.
• picked up the word disgusting and say it "gusgustin" then you laugh and laugh.
• in the mornings, you ask us, "where are me going today?" your grammar is pretty good, but you always ask, "are me...?" it is too cute to correct (for now).
• you don't like going to chuck e cheese if you think chuck e will be there. and you don't like the cow at chick-fil-a either. you told me, "i don't like those big stuffed animals that are real." you know what? i don't like them either.
• talulah is your "best friend." you talk about her nonstop.
• your latest funny- you were just standing there and jumped and yelled, "wah! (like boo!) i almost scared the poo poo out of me." are you kidding me? where in the world did you hear that?! i still don't know.
• auntie tina took you shopping and you picked out a "tiala" (aka tiara). you talk about it all the time, but wear it only sometimes.

for the record, daddy was home with you for most of the month during december (yay for vacations and generous holiday schedules). you grew very attached to him while i was at work and decided you didn't like me much. you would tell me, unprompted, "i don't love to be with you. only daddy." i could feel my heart break. you never wanted me to hold you, bathe you, hug you, put you to bed, etc. you didn't even want me to be in the car with you. i spent a lot of nights holding you when you were asleep and just crying. i tried everything to win back your love, including letting you wear a disney princess shirt (ick) and letting you try the big bungee jump jump for the first time. nothing worked. then i realized that me spoiling you rotten was going to do nothing for you. i now know what ong and ba meant when they would say, "it hurts me more than it hurts you." thankfully, you love me again. i will never, ever take that for granted even one second. but please, em, try not to tell me things like that when you are older and know better. i have a feeling it will still break my heart like it did the first time.

these last three years have easily been the best i've ever had, even with all the obstacles we've faced. you have brought me enough joy in the little time you've been here to last me a lifetime. that said, i am so grateful that you are just three, and we still have a lot, lot, lot more years to laugh and make memories together. you are my sweetest girl. i know i've said it before, but there is nothing i'd rather do than be your mommy. it is still my most favorite thing in the world (even when you tell me you "don't love to be with [me]"). i love you more than you will ever know.

love you so, so much (to the moon and back, in fact),
mommy

[pictures and party post to come]

p.s. we took you to the doctor today (1.17). here are your 3 yr stats: 34.5 lbs clothed (85th percentile) and 36 3/4 inches (50th percentile) (hush tina. btw, why do i always have to tell you that?!). they even took your blood pressure (94/56). you were so good and talked a bunch so dr. cook could observe. you didn't love him looking in your mouth and pushed his hand away. unfortunately, you had to get a shot. as soon as the nurse stuck you, you sat straight up and started to cry. but before you could, it was over and you decided not to waste your tears. good girl. you told me you were being brave.