goodness, this blog seems to be such a distant memory to me. too much has happened to even try to catch you up to speed. so how about some bullet points?
- the first, and perhaps the biggest, life event is this. i have cancer. i know. i wish i could say that sometimes i find that hard to believe, but i would totally be lying. there is never a day, or even hour, that goes by that i'm not reminded of this. it all started in october 2014, when a pain behind my left shoulder blade turned into a seizing contraction that made me feel as though i was having a heart attack. my cardiologist diagnosed me with pleurisy and gave me a pack of steroids. those helped for about 2 weeks. many months, specialists, procedures, and physical therapy later, a chest x-ray revealed a 6.5 cm mass in my mediastinum (in front of my heart, between my lungs). that was april 1st, 2015. 3 negative biopsies, 2 pet scans, 2 ct scans, too many antibiotics, 1 surgery, and almost 2 months later, i got the diagnosis. stage 2a, unfavorable, classical, nodular sclerotic, Hodgkin's lymphoma. or the best kind of cancer you can have. unless you are me. 8 treatments (or 4 cycles) of ABVD proved unsuccessful, so it was another surgery (a chamberlain procedure that left one hell of a scar on my chest), then onto 3 cycles of inpatient ICE, which was 4 days of the worst chemo ever, or so i thought. all of this to prepare me for 7 days of high dose chemo and an autologous stem cell transplant in january of 2016. this consisted of a 21 day hospital stay, where i was kept in almost complete isolation. we even celebrated emily's 8th birthday in the hospital, thanks to some of the most amazing friends in the world. on january 21st, 2016, i celebrated my new birthday. that's what they call the day you get your new stem cells. but we aren't done yet. i went on to have 23 rounds of radiation therapy that totally kicked my butt and then was informed that because i was considered at high risk for recurrence, i was about to start one year of maintenance therapy. one chemo drug, every 3 weeks, for a total of 16 cycles. so that's where i am today. next week is cycle 9! despite STILL not showing a complete response, i.e., true remission, i am doing so well. most days, i feel great. and my hair is growing back. i cannot even begin to describe the total hysteria i experienced when my entire ponytail came off on my hairbrush. aside from watching my family endure this horrible disease, losing my hair was the worst. i know it sounds so vein, but i'd be lying if i said otherwise. anyway, my hair is growing back (happy dance). now, i'm just waiting for it to get long enough so that i can spend my paycheck on the most gorgeous extensions you have ever seen ;).
- work. i'm back to working as much as i can. my boss has been an enormous blessing to my family since all of this started. we are forever grateful for his support. my career looks incredibly different today than it did 2 years ago, but i still really enjoy it.
- donnie. well, sometimes he can be a hot mess, but i'd still give him the honorable mention trophy for strength. there will never, ever be a better mr. mom than my husband. he has done it all. not always with grace, but he's done it. and we would not be here if not for him. recently, his company was acquired and he started a new job. from what i can tell, he is dominating it. he, unlike myself, really thrives with change. he's even found time to pick up a few new hobbies. after running his 3rd marathon, he decided that he would try spartan races. i think they are totally crazy, but again, crazy is his thing. and he's learning to play the guitar. some nights, i can even recognize the songs that he practices :). i feel like i need to add this last part for those of you who have forgotten about my writing style and think i'm just awfully rude...but, my husband is sort of great. i tease him and give him a hard time about so many things, but i am secretly so proud of all he's accomplished.
- i wrote above that donnie gets the honorable mention. that's because the trophy for strength really goes to that little girl that this blog is dedicated to. i mean. i cannot even reflect on the last year and a half without full on ugly crying. not because of our journey, but because i am so darn proud of emily. everything good in my life is bundled up and packaged in this beautiful daughter of mine. she is courageous, strong, resilient, brave, brilliant, intelligent, and above all else, kind. she is everything that i want to be but am not. (but don't misunderstand. that girl is also full of sass). my life used to be defined by 2 periods, before emily and after emily. now it seems to be defined by before cancer and after cancer. after cancer, i tried really hard not to feel sorry for myself. i started finding good and joy wherever i could. i made it a point to be happy. but dammit, some days i was just so mad. not because god gave me cancer, but because i could not even believe that my child, or any child, would have to witness it. in all of my 38 years, i truly don't think i've ever thought of things as being fair or unfair. but the fact that emily, at barely 7 years old, would have to know cancer, watch her mother fight for her life, and then get bullied at school because her mom was sick? that was incredibly unfair. so i'll just say this about emily. though she be but little, she is fierce. i pray everyday that my cancer does not leave a scar on her heart. i might never know if it did or not, but i do know this...my baby girl is amazing. never underestimate her, for she will triumph no matter what.
- emmy-isms. so, enough of that mushy stuff. i stopped keeping a list of emmy-isms years ago. probably because she became a big girl in what seemed like overnight. that does not mean, however, that there aren't super fun things to report. emily's most favorite hobby, or talent, as she'd call it, is gymnastics. she wants to be a competitive gymnast so badly, but she's settled for lessons once a week. she can do a round off back handspring and even an ariel. i need to figure out how to balance her activities and maybe make room for more gymnastics. she's pretty good for a kid who gets very little time to practice. she's also started horseback riding and really enjoys it. me, not so much. it's far away and frankly, smells a little rank. and to show you that not everything has totally changed, she's still taking dance- ballet, tap, and jazz, playing piano, and working on her math brain through kumon. she hates piano and kumon, but what can i say? i'm asian. piano and kumon are non-negotiable.
- attawaytogo! emily went away to summer camp for the first time this year. she spent a week at camp longhorn and love every minute of it. all the while, i stalked their website like it was my job. i studied every single photo posted, hoping to see a glimpse of her hair or her shorts.
- oliver. he's our dog. he is so naughty. he's almost 3 and is still not potty-trained. he barks all the time. he is so timid and will bite the crap out of you. he's cute, but not that cute. the only thing he has going for him is that emily loves him. and since she's rotten, he gets to be a part of our family. that's not totally fair. he is a really sweet lap dog when he wants to be. he always wants to lay on you. but he's stingy with his kisses. and will turn on you in a second. sounds precious, right?
- family. so the most exciting update here is that my little sister had a baby! william carlton the fourth, to be proper, since his daddy is a joy stealer and doesn't like our nickname for him (willie). he was born in march of 2016 and is quite possibly, the yummiest baby in the whole world. he's chubby, and squishy, and has that delicious baby smell. i mean, he's just irresistible. all the other nephews, dylan, aaron, and dean are growing up. dylan is a little roger federer, aaron is the mvp of little league baseball, and deano is an expert back talker. i could not love them more...at least not when they are being the sweet boys they can be during the first 30 seconds that i see them. my siblings are all doing well. ong is fighting cancer for a second time, but his latest scans are showing remission, so that is great. unfortunately, his treatments this second time around have been extremely tough on him and he's had complication after complication. we're working on getting his strength back so that he can have radiation and say goodbye to cancer once and for all. and then there's my mom, ba. she's the toughest little lady there ever was.
i think that brings you up to speed now. whew! if you've made it this far, i'd love to know. would you email me and let me know you visited? aimee825 at aol dot com. i'd love to catch up with you. it has been way too long. oh! you can also follow me on instagram if you don't already. aimeebolton :)
p.s. i'll come back and post some pictures as soon as i figure out how to do that ;)
p.s. i'll come back and post some pictures as soon as i figure out how to do that ;)
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