Baby Em: worst mom ever.

just 1 month into 2010 and i've already taken myself out of the running for mother of the year. i picked em up from school on friday in the best mood. i never get to pick her up b/c i can never get away from the office. so friday? it was going to be a special day. until i decided to take her to the dr. she had been sick all week and i could tell her ear was bothering her. turned out to be nothing. she got 3 new molars last week and i think her left side was just bothering her a lot. so because she was such a good girl for the dr, i took her to get ice cream. she was smiling and laughing the whole way home as i passed spoonfuls of ice cream back to her.

when we got home, i took her out of the car and she started to go inside to see ms. candy. that's when it happened. in slow motion. i closed the back door of the car. she said she needed her ice cream (from the front seat) and omg, went to open the door. but she put her hand on the edge of the front door. as the back door was closing. i screamed in horror. i was watching all of this and just couldn't move fast enough. her poor little fingers were trapped. and she was silent. somehow i made it to the door and opened it. it was then that she let out the most awful cry. her 2, 3, and 4th fingers had a little purple line across them. by the time we got inside and up to get ice, they were already so swollen.

in my shock and panic, i managed call to donnie, who in turn called the dr, and we were back in the car. that dreadful car. when we got to the dr's office, i found out that our dr was already gone for the day. we were going to see dr. zuniga. no. no. NO! last time we saw dr. zuniga was when em was 8 weeks old and she sent us to the freaking hospital and told us to prepare for emergency surgery. (pyloric stenosis. false alarm, thank goodness). but this time, she delivered good news. nothing was broken. except for my heart.

em was so good the entire time. she held onto her 2 acorns (always) and froggy ice pack, the one i use for her lunches :o). she put them down so we could take pictures (x-rays) and then picked them right back up when we were done.

waiting for our x-ray results. the pictures don't show just how swollen those little fingers were.

once we got home and em got to take "med-cin!!!" she was a happy camper. you'd have thought nothing even happened to her. dr. zuniga told us to be prepared for more swelling and bruising in the morning, but when i inspected em's hand the next morning, it just looked like she had really chubby fingers. she has the most faint bruise on her middle finger, but nothing more yet. i wouldn't say this makes me feel any better. instead i'd say that this doesn't make me feel even worse than i already do. i will never, ever forgive myself for hurting my baby girl. it is quite possibly the worst feeling i've ever felt. ever.